things not to do in jodhpur

Things Not To Do In Jodhpur: List Of 71 Dumb Things

Ever heard from someone that “Man, you should not have done that!!”?

It’s embarrassing.

It does feel to ask in return “Man, Where were you before I did this?”

When you travel to a city or are new in a city (say Jodhpur). You find out what the things to do in Jodhpur are.

But, what about things not to do in Jodhpur?

This question spins to even more tempting questions.

You might ask yourself:

“What are the things I should not do here?”

“What are the things I can do here?”

“Am I breaking cultural practices doing this?”

“What people might think when they see me doing these things?”

Don’t get me wrong these questions are as important as knowing the rules before playing a game.

You should know the answers of these questions even before planning a trip to the destination.

Now, who can answer such types of questions?

Well, anyone who was born there, has local accent, know every street even when walking his eyes closed 😉

When we are talking about Jodhpur, let me answer “What are the things not to do in Jodhpur?” for you.

So, what are you waiting for?

Scroll down, and check out the list of 71 Things Not To Do In Jodhpur 🙂

Best regards,

Pankaj Solanki

PS: Read Top 25 Places to visit in Jodhpur, to find out the things to do in Jodhpur.

List of 71 Things Not To Do In Jodhpur:

  1. Calling a cop ‘Turia’
  2. Arguing with Hijaras (they might shout pretty good mother and sister abuses)
  3. Getting a Rs. 1 weight check at Station (you will notice your weight increased by 2-5 kg which might be frustrating if you are on diet)
  4. Buying enhancement medicines from Bangali Babas (Travelling Hakims who are the desi versions of the flying doctors)(the treatment will cause other problems)
  5. Asking other pedestrians for a shop or house (they themselves are wandering)(Always ask from nearby shopkeepers)
  6. Baba Bengalis are neither Babas nor Bengalis they are all perverts and thugs
  7. Riding in a route bus and hoping for people to make space for you(you have to ask them, they won’t do it otherwise)
  8. Looking straight and walking (We have open Manholes, flicked by Druggies)
  9. Wearing Brown Khaki shirts (People will mistake you for Bus conductor)
  10. Asking for Warranty & Guarantee for the Chinese stuff
  11. Searching for the Sagar in Soorsagar
  12. There is no ‘Kudi’ in Kudi Bhagtasni
  13. Asking why statues in Jodhpur have one finger pointed like Umpires (and some don’t have even hands).
  14. Applying Rai ka Tel(oil) on your head and travelling by public transport (smelling oils scare others off)
  15. Stopping at signal when there is no ‘Turia’
  16. Going to Kaylana after declaration of some exam result, you might encounter khudkushi(suicide) action around you.
  17. Hoping to stand up in bus before busstop comes (some social workers are always there to stop you saying busstop has not yet come, so that they can get off first themselves)
  18. Starting a conversation with pissed off husband/BF in train/tempo/bus (they have really sad stories that will force you to admit that you have better wife/GF)
  19. Sitting near a child in public bus (he/she might vomit at you)
  20. Going to Ashok Udhyan with family (there will be naughty couples around you that will distract you but because of family you would not be able to look at them)
  21. Asking for free Chakna(taste) in Sweet shops (they might disappoint you)
  22. Going to mehrangarh and troubling foreighners (security might throw you out if complained)
  23. Visiting gulab sagar to wonder where are gulabs(roses)
  24. Driving near ‘The driver is learning to drive’ type cars to give driver a you-newbie-look (sometimes trainer himself drives the car)
  25. Buying things from railway station shops(they might give you expired stuff)
  26. Arriving Station one hour before your train time (train will already be late for 1 hour so you get pissed off for 2 hours)
  27. Catching a train running (there might be other people doing same, so you will end fighting with each other realizing after finishing fight that train has gone)
  28. Buying Nariyal from train window (you will surely buy it but its size is big as compared to the window of the train)
  29. Giving taxi fair the same as asked by taxi driver (there is always a chance for bargaining)
  30. Asking a taxi driver to charge fair by Rupees per km (he can take 1 hour to travel 5 km )
  31. Going to mandir only during exams (god is watching your actions even when there are no exams)
  32. Watching a foreignner and showing off your English fluency
  33. Not opening your package while buying (always ensure that package has what you bought)
  34. Not giving money to hijra in trains (they have witty lines about your Di*#)
  35. Buying half medicines at one store and hoping to buy the rest from other store (Bargin is that either you buy all medicines or do not buy any from them)(especially true for shops near MDM Hospital)
  36. Asking for bislery(branded water bottle) and drinking normal water(or other products)
  37. Sitting for more than 20 mins extra at a dhaba (the owner might shout some sister abuses)
  38. Teasing a dog in street (they are better chasers)
  39. Touching your feet at road while riding bike to make dragging sound (dogs might start to follow you with their fancy sound)
  40. Looking straight and walking (there is cow dung all around)
  41. Wearing nice footwear to Ganesh Mandir (footwear get exchanged easily there)
  42. Giving money to bhikari/begger (he is the same guy who is @ShivMandir on Monday, @HanumanMandir on Tuesday, @GaneshTemple on Wednesday, @SaiMandir on Thursday, and @ChamundaMandir on Friday and @ShaniMandir on Saturday)
  43. Troubling couples in the Buses and Cinema Halls
  44. Going to market before 11:30am and wondering where are shopkeepers
  45. Giving Rs. 100 to a conductor and expect him to give you change (he will sadistically torment you till the last stop)
  46. Convincing yourself that you will get through when two bulls are fighting (cows rules the road of Jodhpur)
  47. Giving grass(Richka) to cows on road (they run like crazy and kick hard pedestrians and vehicles)
  48. Asking for onion(Pyaz) on Dhabas (after rising costs of onion they have started charging extra)
  49. Not Asking for a final dahi-pani-puri at Pani Puri stall (Always claim your bonus)
  50. Trying to steal balls from science park (Now they have started checking)
  51. Asking anyone for the way to gaasmandi (they will give you you-asshole look)
  52. Asking for a Xerox with 10 bucks in your hand (you should have change otherwise you will have to buy creepy chocolates from them)
  53. Having keys in your bike when caught by a cop (they take your bike keys and you have to bribe them then)
  54. Arguing with cops (every word you speak adds 10 bucks charges)
  55. Travel from Airport or Station by Bus (the buses are full of pickpocketers)
  56. Watching railway track (its full of shit)
  57. Going to weddings without invitations (if caught tell them you are from science side)(Yes Three Idiot Approach)
  58. Going for MacD and movies mass thinking you can patio(seduce) chicks
  59. Boarding a bus running (especially not recommended when you are lady)
  60. Drinking at local wine shop after 10pm (they might give water instead of wine)
  61. Eating muli(Radish) before going to work (Well you understood intended meaning)
  62. Roaming pointlessly near Shastri Circle in search of chicks
  63. Taking side from a bus slowly (passengers might spit or throw wrappers on you)
  64. Doing more shopping than sightseeing because your driver or guide recommended you(They will lead you to their “friends” or relatives, and then recieve a commission)
  65. Leaving valuables in cars or taxis while shopping (What if taxi driver…)
  66. Forgetting to remove your card from ATM’s (In India ATM’s do not make a beeping signal as a reminder when you forget to remove it)
  67. Hoping to reach another city on time by road (The railway track crossing keepers pull the gate five minutes before the exact time when the train is scheduled! Not five minutes before the train actually arrives. Imagine you have a plane to board in the next city and have to wait one hour, or more at the crossing!!!. So if the train is one hour late you will. . . miss your plane)
  68. Not buying things having an MRP written on it (people will thug/loot you)
  69. Judging a vehicle will turn in the direction of its glowing indicator (Always watch the head-turn of driver, people here turns where their head turns. Head-turn is more important than indicators.)
  70. Getting shocked when you see shit on road (nothing new)
  71. Fearing when you got lost (Walk like you know where you are going even when you get lost. The best way to not get lost again is to remember where you were when you were lost.)

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To check out things to do in Jodhpur, read Top 25 Places to Visit in Jodhpur.

5 thoughts on “Things Not To Do In Jodhpur: List Of 71 Dumb Things”

  1. 71 Things!
    First I thought how can it be possible to make such a long list but kudos to you, it is indeed exhaustive. 🙂

    1. Pankaj Solanki

      Thanks Nisha 🙂 . Trust me: I was VERY tired after first draft. But once I saw the potential of the post I realized it will be helpful and that kept me motivated.

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